more of a somber post

By all accounts, it's been a busy week!

Monday: nothing special, except working for a few hours on my graduation portfolio (so i can be a real teacher, not an intern) until 5, then triathlon practice @ fresno state from 6:30-9
Tuesday: regular school. one of my most optimistic students was apparently taken from her home (with bro's/sis's separated) by CPS last night. she was bawling. ... then me playing water polo not very well from 7-9.
Wednesday: school, then Coaching training from 3:30-7. found out another girl is pregnant (girl number five this year... they're 15 years old.)
Thursday: morning triathlon practice, then exit interview for FPU (Huge deal!) from 10:30-12, lunch with mark, finally got smogged, Junior High Graduation party from 6:30-9, party with the Fresno State triathlon team from 9-midnight!
Friday: Asked my class the following questions:
1) What do you expect from school?
2) Do you trust your teachers? (trust them to teach you, trust them to know you, trust them with stuff other than math/science/history/English).

After yesterday's exit interview (where i talked for an hour!) and today's letter responses... I was extremely humbled.

basically, more than a little kids think I'm too nice and let the other students run all over me. And I tend to agree with them. I've been trying to put up a front for a couple of months now, but I think coaching two teams for 3 months and allowing myself to get caught up in the kids' problems has taken a toll on my teaching and I feel like I just woke up from teaching in January. One girl was really pretty upset with me and it was great (humbling!) to hear her tell me what she thought - "when you tell people to leave or be quiet and they don't, it's just SAD." wow. honesty is good I suppose.

This weekend, of course I'll have no time to grade papers or get ahead on planning. Going to Great America with the JH group from church. regular sports practice next week after school, but I will most definitely take time at nights to DO SCHOOL. I get to form cool bonds with kids as a coach - apparently in the classroom I will HAVE TO BE all business now. I'm at once relieved and... crushed in spirit. Yet optimistic.