mentoring

I've read books on mentoring (To Own a Dragon, Mentoring: a Framework, Raising Cain, to name a few...) and considered myself a mentor to a number of kids ranging in age from 11 (and now 18!) to 21.

It's pretty much never not "messy." Asking a kid to open up with trust takes a lot of time the longer i teach/coach the more i sometimes almost want to say, "wait, please don't tell me everything," - yet they sometimes do knowing full well I'll have to "report" what they say to others...

So this one kid on my triathlon/water polo teams I met around October of last year - just as one of the messiest periods of my personal life was ending. Partly because of that, I made a conscious choice to just be seen as, "coach," to this guy.

After a few weeks, one time his mom asked me to take him home after water polo practice and because the mom had been really good about taking him home normally/picking him up, I said sure. he mentioned how hungry he was and that his mom wasn't gonna be home (working), so we stopped at mcdonalds and talked. i don't remember what we ate, i don't remember most of what we talked about, but that was when i stopped being coach and started being mentor.

I began to ask about his grades. About his goals in sports and life. And he began to realize that someone cared about him enough to make him not play water polo if he ditched school, got suspended, or got caught lying to me. But I always made sure to provide a, "next time," to see him and let him back in the activities to be clear I wasn't giving up on him.

Yesterday I spent about 7 hours with the kid through a variety of activities ranging from riding bikes at the group home, swimming, eating taco bell, water polo, and taking him home again. While helping me out at the group home, I noticed how proud he was to say, "I've known Coach Dorman for almost a year now," and stuff like that. The group home kids were in awe of his athletic ability - which I can take some credit for :-). His attitude was great and he worked out hard in both biking and water polo.

At the end of the time, he made a comment that really made me pause - "i don't have many people to just... talk to." and went on to explain how his dad didn't speak much english, his mom kinda expected him to be a good big brother/chores, etc. and his uncles were drunk all the time. I try not to bring it up (bad experiences with some kids in the past), but he talks to me about his parents fighting and stuff sometimes too. I rarely prod (but sometimes it's needed!).

A great reminder as we celebrate America's Independence that the best moments are usually the ones we don't plan for. Ironic given this. No matter what happens to this kid in life, I hope he'll always feel he can just "talk" to me or someone about what's going on in his life, and even with his future kids.

p.s. If you know me, my new title picture makes perfect sense... that's me running on the beach after the California Ironman 70.3 March 29th. The ocean seemed to cold by that time though even though I'd swam 1.2 miles in it at 6:30 that morning... hope no one's offended :-) doing an olympic-distance aquathlon this sunday which should be cool even though i'm not ready for the run really.

updates

Triathlon Practice (swim, bike, run this week): Check

First ever Junior High Water Polo Practice for McLane: Check

First ever Masters Practice for McLane: Check

Sports is going well! Tomorrow will take some bikes and a kid helper out to Valley Teen Ranch, where I worked full time in 2005 and part time until I became a full time teacher in February of 2006. I still help out occasionally because I love the group home environment. i'm pretty excited about it... that and we get Friday off!

social justice

I'm just in Fremont (Bay Area of California...) for tonight and then off to Oregon for a family reunion this weekend. Mexico was fantastic and I feel more refreshed than probably 2004. even got in some running on the beach (harder!) and ocean swimming, along with healthy-ish eating and drinking. Visited Sr. Iggy's and the other big bar in Rosarito beach.

Read a book on the trip by a Brit named Craig Borlase, called God's Gravity. It was about thinking bigger about social justice in the world. (the basic idea being that God's gravity calls us toward Him: love, joy, peace, patience etc.; while the world's gravity that pulls us away are things like pride, greed, etc. Read it - I finished it in about 2 days and it's easy_but_not_light, engaging reading.). I was really inspired. For example, it talked about how perhaps we can't make sure every thing we buy doesn't have a sweatshop somewhere down the supply chain - but we can try to make sure at least one shirt we buy doesn't. Same with foods and other things. (a water bottle instead of tons of gatorades... rainman :-)

So for my group of triathlon kids, I'm stewing over ways to incorporate that into the fray. Definitely thinking about getting my "regular" math students involved next year in the work of something like Blood:Water: Mission but will need to wait for approval that. My friend Matt is currently in Africa doing work with Invisible Children and working with the Education Ministry of a country there to improve their teaching methodology. Social Justice was the theme of his history class this year.

Hey... doing "regular" teaching and yet getting our kids to reach out to the wider world? To know that they aren't the only kids in the world who like Chris Brown and Fergie?

That they can make a difference to make the world a better place.

Now THAT, is changing the world. (fellow bloggers: know any good triathlon companies that are eco-friendly and worth supporting? We are already sponsored by Oomph Sports and Xterra Wetsuits, at least last year... or math curriculum that might help support this?)

Also am thinking more about how perhaps I want to re-focus my life on the "tentmaker," strategy... teaching and coaching to support things like the Triathlon team, more administrative and integration with Turning Points Academy, etc. This is going to be a great summer of change and focus.

week after

It's been a great week of teaching and coaching.

Teaching-wise we have been working at a workshop all week. A bit more of Understanding By Design but with a math focus! It's been hard work especially after school just ending but good preparation for me teaching algebra II next year!

Athletically, it's also been busy but good. Running a few miles on Monday, a good water polo practice on tuesday, a vigorous run complete with sprints and lunges and wall-sits yesterday (in our new clothes from Oomph Sports!) and today will be more water polo. Mexico starts tomorrow and i'll be back june 29th...

22 mile ride

good afternoon!

went on a nice 22 mile ride with one of my students, and a kid from church and his dad. a nice 22 mile ride - good for the first of the season in quite a while. (we took pretty much all of May off - myself included). my speedometer wasn't working but it was a nice rolling hills with some big ones too.

tomorrow is a one mile open water swim for me and the goal is to hit 25 minutes perhaps.
Albert taking a break @ the Millerton country store.

end of school!

Wow! It's over!!! (still a few paperwork things to take care of, but...)

I didn't realize how tired and ready I was for the end of school until it happened yesterday. I had a chance to actually go to starbucks with a friend last night to talk about a great book on Humility and not set time limits on when I had to go!

today i slept as long as i wanted too, went on a medium-tempo 3-4 mile run with a friend and then kinda hung out. cleaned the cars (suburban still smells from... something... a bit.), did laundry, played starcraft on the computer... dinner with Leo at 6:30.

the summer:
- USAT Level 1 coaching conference in Albuquerque, NM in July!
- Water Polo practice Tues/Thurs 6-8pm
- Triathlon practice M/W/F 4-6pm
- Adult triathlon practice!
- Summer School July 1-22 (geometry review! a lot easier than full-on Geometry all summer!)
- Math conference in July 28-Aug 1
MEXICO with Meagan and family in just over a week!!

Mud Run

It was a very successful (and relatively cheap!) mud run today as 10 students and 3 adults went down to Lemoore Naval Air Station for the Mud Run!

5 miles of running with mud-laden shoes.
Climbing over 8 foot tall walls.
Sliding through 2 feet thick pools of gunk.
Good times had by all!

Pictures are located here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/paltriathlon/MudRun2008

Some great pics of myself, fellow McLane Turning Points Academy teacher Erin Pullen, Meagan Friedrich and 10 students from McLane(5), Roosevelt(1), Duncan(3), and Buchanan(1) high schools!

Please visit the Website for a preview of our new logo - currently being professionally produced by Jeffery Scott Advertising in-kind for the team! Founding team member Sovann Mey created the version you see on the page.

Since the article, we've also picked up sponsorships from Training Peaks training software (10 licenses), Oomph Sports sent us a box of cycling/triathlon gear for the kids, and several of you generously donated your money to the cause. Your donations helped directly with this event and our upcoming Tri for Fun and Tri for Real events in July. It's been a great few weeks for Fresno PAL and McLane High School!

- one week left of School!
Monday: Graduation at 7pm and I'll be staying up all night to help out with Sober Grad. partly because I live next door to Blackbeards, the Family Fun park so can take a nap if I have too real quick.
Tuesday: TPA field trip day! (church @ night)
Wednesday: Bbq (my responsibility - including the TPA olympics!)
Thursday: last day!!!!
Friday: relax. well, plan for summer school...